It's as good a day as any to start writing again. It's gotten to the point where it's like with a friend you haven't been in touch with for awhile, and the longer it goes on, the harder it is to pick up that phone, because you feel baaaddddd, but not bad enough to suck it up and just make the call. Today's a good day to suck it up and start writing again. Much much much has happened over the summer, our lives have gone in different ways. But, for the moment, things are calm and steady, which is a welcome relief.
It's been a very gray, very dreary, rainy day. Perfect weather for this day. Every year, it seems to ebb; the coverage, the documentaries, the ceremonies for 9/11. But I seek them out; about a week before, I start to look at the History Channel, the ID channel, National Geographic channel. I start to watch, and watch everything I can that is related to the attacks. This year I even ordered a documentary from Amazon that's only been broadcast once (in my defense, it's an awesome film, and I've wanted Richard to see it for years). It's not come in the mail yet, but I know I'll sit down and watch it as soon as it gets here.
I don't know why I keep watching these things; maybe I'm just still trying to understand why it happened.
Did you know that you can see pictures of the jumpers after they landed? They are on the internet. Why? What's the purpose of having these pictures available to anybody? To strengthen American resolve? Not likely. It's more like a sick voyeurism that fuels our society. I imagine that you can pretty much find a picture of just about anything on the internet. I've certainly found some unusual ones, but I tend to focus on the funny, not the gruesome.
What led me to look for pictures of the jumpers was that I've been thinking about them for the past few days. I was thinking about how horrific it must have been in those buildings to have come to that decision. Was it that, or was it the last bit of control they had over their own lives? If you look at the pictures, some of them look like they are flailing wildly as they fell, yet some look posed and peaceful. I think about their families. Did they recognize them? Could they tell? Would it be better to have that memory, then to have nothing at all, the way it it was for most of the victims' families.
Thousands and thousands of images from that day; they never cease to move me incredibly. I wish more people looked at them. It is frightening how quickly complacent we've all become.
For me, this will always be a day of memory, and of sadness for all of the victims and the people who lost them.
"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others." Ayn Rand
Friday, September 11, 2009
Posted by Margo at 7:36 PM